The Number Three Secret to Success on the Raw Vegan Diet.

Here's the deal. You can master Secrets Number One and Number Two, but if you don't have access to Secret No. Three, you will still be very vulnerable to having your house of cards tumble down around you.

What's the secret?
Secret #3: No man is an island.
I've said this before on my blog, but I would not have been able to stay with this if not for some very supportive friends in my life.

When I first slid down the raw rabbit hole, I was in a toxic environment as far as support for my diet went. The people I was around constantly were not even a hairline crack's worth of open to what I was doing. I'm not sure if they felt defensive of their own choices or just flat out thought I was stupid, (probably the latter) but I received little to no support from people in my world at the time.

No wonder I went up and down the raw see-saw so many times.

It was exhausting, discouraging and I felt like I was constantly climbing an uphill battle to look halfway "normal" in the eyes of society. There were times when I felt like I would always be the only person trying to do this. It made me want to give up.

My First Detour
In fact, I remember the first time I fell off the bandwagon on the raw diet. I had been on a gourmet raw diet for three months. This version of the raw diet didn't work out for me in some other ways, but the food, what was not to like?! It wasn't the food that was the problem.

And then one day we went to a restaurant to eat with family members. At this point, restaurant eating is no big deal to me, but back then I was still new in so many ways. I remember eating my little tiny salad and then looking longingly at everyone else's plates. They were eating cooked corn, mashed potatoes, fried okra, rice and green beans.

At that moment I realized (with a bit of horror, although I've since embraced it) how Texan this little Malaysian girl had become over the last few years. I wanted to cry looking at their southern comfort food, thinking that these were all things I could "enjoy" with family if I just simply stayed cooked vegan, and how much easier my social life would be.

I got enough flack being cooked vegan, but at least there was a much wider variety of things I could eat at social things and "vegan" is at least a tiny blip on most peoples' diet radar, whereas raw usually elicits a "Huh?" from the majority.

I was also going through a time where so many people in my life (not family) were continually critical of my choices. I allowed this environment to inhibit my growth way too much. That day at the restaurant, I cracked under the pressure I felt. There were little packets of Honeymaid sweet wheat crackers at the table for the kids. My eyes locked on them and I remember putting a couple in my purse, not even sure why I was doing it.

When we got home, I felt heavy hearted and at a cross-roads with this raw thing. Could I really live this way, seemingly at odds with the rest of the world, for the rest of my life? Did I really want to? Was it worth it to lose friends and to have people always think I was strange? Deep inside, I really just wanted to belong and be accepted in society.

My hand slowly reached into my purse, and in a daze, without even thinking about what I was doing, I opened the wheat crackers and just stared at them. I wasn't even craving them. I had raw gourmet treats in the house that tasted just as good or better as those wheat crackers. I could have just gone in my kitchen and grabbed some flaxseed crackers or some salted, tamari-ed almonds.

Instead, my hand picked up a cracker and it went in my mouth. And then I ate all the other crackers I had brought home. And I felt good doing it, it was such a normal thing to do. I didn't feel any different physically.

Putting Secret Number Three into Place.
Of course, about 15 lbs and some health problems later, I realized that like it or not, the raw diet was in my life to stay. Thus began a year and a half of a struggle to figure out which approach to this lifestyle was the best for me, and many, many attempts to stick to it.

But something changed over that year and a half. My family got out of the toxic environment we were in, and we entered into a new world, with new people and new friends. I slowly healed as I figured what I wanted in life and how to best achieve my goals.

Then 2007 rolled around. By that time, we had figured out who our real friends were in real life. And none of them cared what my diet was. And I took a few other steps, meeting people who were pursuing the same thing I was. What a difference it made in my life, knowing people who are either okay with me as a person regardless of my food choices, or downright supportive because they are doing the same thing too!

I strongly believe that having encouraging people around me in real life and in my virtual world, gave me that extra little boost I needed, in order to hang in there during the tough transitional times.

Where I'm at right now, I'd really like to think that if I entered another negative social situation, that it wouldn't do much to stop me, because I'm fully confident in what I'm doing at this point in my life. And as long as I'm not going out of my way to offend anybody, I really don't care what they think of me and what I eat or don't eat. But in the beginning, a supportive environment was crucial for my success.

So if you find yourself floundering and feeling alone and overwhelmed, take a look around you and take a good look at the people around you. Do you need to give yourself a break from any of them because of their toxic attitudes toward your health efforts? If so, it is okay to step away for awhile.

Here are 3 ways to find support in your life as you transition:
1. Approach one or two of your very closest friends in real life. Explain to them simply but clearly what you're about to put yourself through, (in a non judgmental way, please) and tell them that you'd really appreciate their support and encouragement for a little while.

Tell them that you're not sure you can do it without a little bit of cheerleading from them. True friends will be there for you. If they turn their backs of you at this point, ask yourself if a true friend would ditch you over food.

I should add here that my advice is to ONLY tell those one or two people and leave the rest of the world out of it until you are totally comfortable with what you're doing.

My closest friends knew about my adventure and although they said they'd never do it themselves, they were very supportive of me and it helped, so much!

2. Start a blog. (And read others' blogs.) I highly recommend this one, because hello! That's how I met you! :) I have enjoyed my interactions with each and every single one of you who have left me comments or emailed me. I have enjoyed reading all my new friends' blogs and learning so much from each of you. You make me feel like we're all in this together. So thank you!

I have made some precious, amazing friends because of my blog. When I started it, I found this really cool gal who lived practically down the street from me, who was at the same point in her 811 journey as I was, and had a kid the same age as one of mine. Can you imagine? Neither could I. We are still close friends to this day and she has encouraged me in my health journey more than you can imagine.

3. Join online groups and forums that focus on the raw food diet. There are tons of them around. This one is one of my favorites because I learn a lot about health from it. I also enjoy the 80/10/10 group that I'm in on Facebook. If there are others that you enjoy, please share with us!

What are your favorite ways to surround yourself with a community of like-minded people?

So that's it...the third most positively influential thing in my health journey. Friends. Can't live without them and wouldn't want to! It seems like a really obvious thing, but until it fell in place for me, I was not able to succeed. I figured that if I struggled so much socially, that I couldn't be the only one out there!

I still have a couple of secrets up my sleeve, so stay tuned for Secret Number Four very soon.